Biggest scare ?

Lately, I’ve been sitting with this question: “What scares me more — losing someone, or being alone?” And honestly, I don’t think my answer is straightforward anymore. Losing someone hurts deeply, yes. But at some point, I also realized that people are not things we can hold onto by force. I cannot force someone to choose me, understand me, stay with me, or love me the way I wish to be loved. That part was difficult to accept. Then comes the other option: being alone. And strangely, being alone sounds… sane. Healthy, even. We hear it everywhere: Learn to love yourself. Enjoy your own company. Be independent. Stop relying on others emotionally. And I do believe in all of that. I genuinely do. I enjoy my own space. I know how to sit with myself. I know how to grow alone. But sometimes I wonder: Until when? Because somewhere in the middle of all this “self-sufficiency,” there is still a very human part of me that longs to receive. Not just give. Receive. Care. Effort. Consistency. Presence. Reciprocity. And maybe that’s the real fear. Not losing someone. Not being alone. But continuously pouring into people, situations, and relationships… and still feeling emotionally unseen. I think sometimes healing gets misunderstood as becoming someone who needs nobody. !!But I don’t think humans are built that way.!! We are built for connection too. Maybe growth is not about shutting our emotional needs down. Maybe it’s about learning how to keep our hearts open without abandoning ourselves in the process. Learning: how to love without overgiving, how to stay without shrinking, how to receive without guilt, and how to walk away from connections that only survive on our emotional labor. I don’t want to become emotionally unavailable in the name of healing. I just want relationships that feel mutual. Balanced. Safe. And maybe that desire doesn’t make us needy. Maybe it just makes us human.